Long Days and Short Years

just trying to pay attention so I don't miss my life

Week: one, Jen: zero

2 Comments

It seems that some weeks are designed to break you.

And this week won… or so it thinks.

There were three members of our family with a nasty virus, including a little child with a big fever.  One cat with a deep cut on his cornea that cost us $200 at the vet and requires drops every three hours.  Five dentist appointments, including one filling.  Three to four wake-ups each and every night.  And all of these numbers add up to… one grumpy Jen.

I knew it last night when the brightly colored plastic IKEA cups fell on me.  I was unloading the dishwasher and trying to squeeze the bowls in behind the cups when everything toppled.  On my head.  In the dog’s water bowl.  All over the floor.

And oh, I was so mad.  I almost did it.  I almost threw a big, scary, grown-up fit.  I almost grabbed the bowls and hurled them across the room.  I almost lost it, and lost it BIG in front of my husband and the littlest little one.

Thank God for ‘almost’.

I’m still not sure how I stopped.  Maybe it was my daughter’s face, shocked by the noise of all those cups falling everywhere.  Maybe it was my husband’s kindness–he knew how I felt at that moment.  Maybe it was just a small-but-big miracle. (I will take all the small-but-big miracles that I can get.)  I walked away.  I took some deep breaths.  I stared out the window, and my husband put the kids to bed.  I took some more deep breaths.  I picked up the cups.

Take that, week.

And now that it is Saturday morning and I am sitting in front of the computer, alone, coffee pulsing through my tired body, I would like to take one final swing at the week-that-was.  I will use one of the most effective strategies that I have.  Here goes.

I am thankful.  I am thankful for:

1.  A fever that broke.

2.  A wonderful dentist who didn’t berate me for being scared.

3.  The warm weather, and especially for our afternoon walk at the zoo.

4.  A husband who gets up in the middle of the night and can comfort children.

5.  The courage to go through with the filling (this is a big deal… I used to have panic attacks), and the 9 year old neighbor who prayed for me when she found out.

6.  Neighbor kittens who sneak into our house and then purr when you carry them out.

7.  Kids who went to preschool again on Friday morning.

8.   A good movie on at the gym that got me though a work-out that I didn’t want to do.

9.  Hugs

10.  Deep breaths and quiet prayers that got me through the nights, the Novocaine and the aforementioned cup fall.  There by the grace of God go I.

And now I wonder…

What’s your top-ten?

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2 thoughts on “Week: one, Jen: zero

  1. Well, your blog’s on the list this week. I was having a day like that today and it is *such* a relief to hear someone else confess that cascading plastic cups nearly put her over the edge. I have so been there. Recently. Tonight I bit my daughter’s head off and actually sent her to her room for touching the pizza dough I was rolling out…and she was just trying to help patch a hole she spotted. Thanks for sharing!

  2. I also have almost “lost it” this week… and then in the next moment felt so grateful for my husband, family, and friends. This sounds super stressful, though! Way to push through. I hope this week was better 🙂

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